So today I got my book cover. It is so more real to me in this moment that I can express that I am about to have a book published. A book of my life no less! I am about to completely have my whole being lay naked before the world. I have had more emotions running through me this week that I can articulate and describe. I feel like if I were back in therapy and they showed me that emotions chart and told me to circle how I felt, I would circle the entire poster.
I have been quite the bear this week. Being the good addict that I am; I do not have large quantities of patience nor do I like to sit around and wait for anything. The old adage, I want what I want when I want; it is ringing very true for me. I have to just take a step back and let go of this process. I know it is in good hands and that my path is being carefully laid out before me, I just need to put one foot in front of the other and follow it. Instead, I want to redirect, insert my will, and stomp all over it like a little kid throwing a tantrum.
I had my photo shoot today which was quite an odd feeling. I really had a blast and felt more comfortable in front of a camera that I had imagined. It’s an odd dance that my ego and my humility did while posing for pictures. In some moments I beamed and felt on top of the world and other times I felt completely barren and undeserving. Funny how we have such a hard time allowing ourselves to feel good and deserving of certain things.