Today I have ten years clean and sober.
Ten years of shifting, screaming, cleaning, laughing, crying, changing, dealing, unveiling, processing, living…ten years of it all the good and the bad.
Ten years without the reliance on a mind or mood altering substance to deal with life on life’s terms.
Ten years of brutal honesty and rebuilding of self.
Ten years of gaining back trust of those I injured during the previous ten years.
Sometimes it feels like just yesterday when my brothers broke down my apartment door to find my half-lifeless body lying in a pool of my own blood. It feels like just yesterday, when I opened my eyes again to a whole new world and feeling of hope. It feels like only yesterday when I became willing to change everything and choose life.
Sometimes it feels like some one else’s life altogether, like I am writing about or looking back on someone else’s pain, misery and experiences…because I am so far from that person today. The odd dichotomy that is my life on a daily basis; because to achieve this degree of time one must change so much about yourself. Yet I am always still that person, those experiences, thoughts and feelings still hide in the darkness that still lingers in my past, my spirit and my heart in some way.
One day at a time, I built a new life and brought back into light the beautiful person I was meant to be….not the mess that drugs and alcohol and abuse led me to become. Today, I am proud of myself and all my experiences.
It is so relevant that my book is coming out now during this milestone in my recovery. I am more grateful today than I can ever imagine being…life today is beyond my wildest imagination…it is full and hard at times and incredible! I am honored to be in a position to share my life with you today and I hope it provides you with hope that no matter how far down the scale you go….there is always a hand extended to lift you back up and get you back on your feet.
To every person out there who managed to get through another day without reaching for a mind or mood altering substance to deal….I APPLAUD YOU! You are a miracle and if you keep putting one foot in front of the other …you will continue to be a miracle.
Love and respect….
PS. —The holidays are right around the corner, give the gift of hope to someone you love and pre-order my book today! I promise you won’t be sorry. pre-order the book on Amazon